So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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