Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize