sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
