My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
