In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
