Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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