He is such a slut. More and more my type.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
