So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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