kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Come see our sink grown plant.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
