As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
