Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
