Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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