you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
