either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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