Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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