I hate your face
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
