D3 body, D1 cock
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize