Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wear drunk well.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize