Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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