im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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