Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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