After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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