I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
