I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
