plz talk dirty to me
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
