I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
