What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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