I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
