her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
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He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
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I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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