so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
