Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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