I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
