I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
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Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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