I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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