Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
