you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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