You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
