honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
