I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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