Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
