Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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