I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
