OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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