he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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