She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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