He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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