11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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