I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
if only i could text you this smell
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
