I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
