Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
