I am in a vortex of obligation.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish you could order shots online.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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