between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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